Momfidence!

I had a mini get together wth a mummy friend.. and after the gathering (or should I say during as well), I kinda felt I havent been dilligent enough to be sure of what I feed yule or what cream I use on yule, or perhaps also havent been dilligent enough to read up and research on the stuff that I provide for her.... hmmmmm.... its does tingle some guilt and lousy feelings...

I actually pride myself for not really being part of the rat race or signing up those enrichment programmes that ensure your child has a good headstart... well, not that I disagree with such programmes (I'm also hoping to sign Yule up for some dance or ballet class soon), just that I feel that these programmes will rob away precious family time.. I rather spend the time bringing her to west coast or east coast park than to enrichment classes... at least for now... I dun just buy into whatever that sounds good for the child... or whatever other parents are doing... but that mini get together with the mummy friend had somehow made me feel and think to myself, am I doing enough as a mother???

During one of those regular Sunday visits to the library with Yule, I saw this book on Momfidence! Lose the Guilt, Love your Instincts!.. looked interesting...so I borrowed it.. and read it... and wow! Love it! It had such an amazing impact on me!! Really, motherhood is not about losing ourselves into the media, parenting books, 'perfect' advice from mummy friends, researches that say what and what is good... its really about our instincts and sometimes simply common sense! Its really one of those heartening read that made me laughed and felt good about myself.. and I'm so happy I actually finished the whole book (I actually cannot remember when was the last time I finished one whole book, and not giving up halfway!)

One of those impactful chapter is when the author mentioned how her eldest boy do not and literally do not eat other things except chicken nuggets.. and must be those frozen type and a particular brand (I can relate to this as Yule is also quite a picky eater). While she tried all ways and means to feed her son nutritious stuff and serving them in some fanciful ways (again, I can relate to this as this is also what I have been trying every now and then) to entice him to eat other things, it just doesn't work... Obviously, she'll have to make do with queries and stares from other mummies, that why is she always feeding her son 'unhealthy' chicken nuggets, will he grow up fine, is he getting enough nutrition, food pyramid??? etc etc... well well, her son is now in elementary school, and actually top the class for physical fitness! And thankfully more willing to eat different type of food... so what does it say??? If the child does not want to eat healthy nutritious lovely prepared food, just be thankful that he can eat and is still eating something!

Just some quotes from the book:

"Good mothering, ultimately, is in the eye of the beneficiary. Too often we play to a crowd that doesn't count: to the advice mongers in the media, to the imagined stares of perfect strangers, to the darting eyes of other insecure mommies. Worse of all, we play the perfect mother of all mothers who exist exclusively in our heads. The only audience that matters is the one we tuck in at night"

"Momfidence is raising your child freehand, rather than with a paint-by-numbers kit. To paraphrase Lucy van Pelt of Peanuts: The expert is Within."

"Momfidence is the confidence that comes from knowing everybody else is pretty much winging it, too."

Once again, whatever guilt feelings I gathered from the mini get together with mummy friend is gone. I believe its about being confident as a mummy and knowing that I know whats best for my child! Well, papa also always says he's glad mummy me is a counsellor who knows a pretty good deal about managing and communicating with children =)

Make way for Momfidence!

Check out the Momfidence website at www.momfidence.com