Lesson #3 Learn to let go

These days, Yule seems to want to do everything on her own. Like bathing, drying herself using towel, applying moisturiser on herself, wearing her clothes, taking off her clothes, wearing her shoes, wearing socks, opening the fridge to search for food, feeding herself, washing her own dishes, wahsing her own shoes, taking the basket at NTUC, paying at the cashier when we buy things, opening and closing the door by herself, pressing the lift button... the list goes on and on...

Without doubt, Yule is at the stage of Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt, according to Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development. It says "Children need to develop a sense of personal control over physical skills and a sense of independence. Success leads to feelings of autonomy, failure results in feelings of shame and doubt".

We are defintely happy that Yule is growing and learning appropriate to her age. Certianly, it also seems that its geat that she is learning to do many things on her own now. But in fact, I believe those who have also gone through this stage of parenthood would agree with me that it does not necessary mean an easier time if our child is learning to do things on their own. It could actually mean more work, as we are battling with an assertive toddler, who wants to do things on her own, but not exactly the way we would want it, or as 'proper' as if we were to do it for her, or as fast as we would prefer it. On days where we just need to get things done fast to prepare to go out or to rush to do something, having to 'entertain' her and allow her to do things by herself can actually be quite annoying!

I realise I have to learn to move on together with her. By moving on, it would mean learning to let go, telling myself its ok that things may not always need to be 'properly' done. Perhaps that would mean less battling and certainly less frustration on my side!

Well well, nevertheless, it may still be easier said than done!