Discipline

Discipline is such a big word. And these days I have to be employing disicipliing tactics a few times in a day. Lately I can't help but feel tired about disciplining Yule. Perhaps its also hormones changes, coupled with worries and uncertainties about a new baby, and having to deal with Yule's challenging behaviour. It upsets me pretty much when I see how her strong-willed character, her perseverance, her strive for independence, her wit, her strong command of the langauage (all really good positive traits) can contribute so much to her wilful, demanding, manipulative, impatient behaviour. These days, she often yells '走开', '我不要你'. These are really hurtful words. As much as I tell myself not to take it personally, its hard to do so. I do employ time-out, talking through the behaviour with her, getting her to apologize in disciplining her. The cane was also used in order to make sure she stays at her time-out corner. These strategies used to work very well. I'm was always happy with the outcome, that despite the naughty behaviour, we got our point across and she learnt and said sorry, and we will end off with hugs. However, these tactics were less effective now as he got used to the routines. It takes longer time, much more energy, much more tears and more strokes of cane to get her to acknowledge what she did wrongly and to apologize for her mistake. I guess she is really learning to test our limits and boundaries. Sometimes it appears to me that it is like a battle of power and control. I know at the back of my mind I cannot let her get away with any wilful behaviour, and I must let her know that her parents are in control, but it is just really a tiring process. And I hate to admit that sometimes I notice myself placating her so to prevent any 'eruptions'. I don't want that.

So today, I broke down. I am worried, really worried about the arrival of the second child. Though Yule appears excited about my growing tummy and the baby, I really wonder how it will be like when the sibling arrives. How do I cope with the demands of a newborn and a challenging toddler?

Perhaps my consolation for now is that many times we can still talk sense to Yule as she understands and expresses herself very well, and also not forgetting that she is just like her papa when he was young - the must-win, territoial, smart and manipulative traits. If her papa can turn out well and good, I believe so will Yule.

And perhaps just like what her papa said, maybe I worry too much.