Celebrating Papa and Mummy's 6th year wedding anniversary and 14 years of togetherness...
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Momfidence!
I had a mini get together wth a mummy friend.. and after the gathering (or should I say during as well), I kinda felt I havent been dilligent enough to be sure of what I feed yule or what cream I use on yule, or perhaps also havent been dilligent enough to read up and research on the stuff that I provide for her.... hmmmmm.... its does tingle some guilt and lousy feelings...
I actually pride myself for not really being part of the rat race or signing up those enrichment programmes that ensure your child has a good headstart... well, not that I disagree with such programmes (I'm also hoping to sign Yule up for some dance or ballet class soon), just that I feel that these programmes will rob away precious family time.. I rather spend the time bringing her to west coast or east coast park than to enrichment classes... at least for now... I dun just buy into whatever that sounds good for the child... or whatever other parents are doing... but that mini get together with the mummy friend had somehow made me feel and think to myself, am I doing enough as a mother???
During one of those regular Sunday visits to the library with Yule, I saw this book on Momfidence! Lose the Guilt, Love your Instincts!.. looked interesting...so I borrowed it.. and read it... and wow! Love it! It had such an amazing impact on me!! Really, motherhood is not about losing ourselves into the media, parenting books, 'perfect' advice from mummy friends, researches that say what and what is good... its really about our instincts and sometimes simply common sense! Its really one of those heartening read that made me laughed and felt good about myself.. and I'm so happy I actually finished the whole book (I actually cannot remember when was the last time I finished one whole book, and not giving up halfway!)
One of those impactful chapter is when the author mentioned how her eldest boy do not and literally do not eat other things except chicken nuggets.. and must be those frozen type and a particular brand (I can relate to this as Yule is also quite a picky eater). While she tried all ways and means to feed her son nutritious stuff and serving them in some fanciful ways (again, I can relate to this as this is also what I have been trying every now and then) to entice him to eat other things, it just doesn't work... Obviously, she'll have to make do with queries and stares from other mummies, that why is she always feeding her son 'unhealthy' chicken nuggets, will he grow up fine, is he getting enough nutrition, food pyramid??? etc etc... well well, her son is now in elementary school, and actually top the class for physical fitness! And thankfully more willing to eat different type of food... so what does it say??? If the child does not want to eat healthy nutritious lovely prepared food, just be thankful that he can eat and is still eating something!
Just some quotes from the book:
"Good mothering, ultimately, is in the eye of the beneficiary. Too often we play to a crowd that doesn't count: to the advice mongers in the media, to the imagined stares of perfect strangers, to the darting eyes of other insecure mommies. Worse of all, we play the perfect mother of all mothers who exist exclusively in our heads. The only audience that matters is the one we tuck in at night"
"Momfidence is raising your child freehand, rather than with a paint-by-numbers kit. To paraphrase Lucy van Pelt of Peanuts: The expert is Within."
"Momfidence is the confidence that comes from knowing everybody else is pretty much winging it, too."
Once again, whatever guilt feelings I gathered from the mini get together with mummy friend is gone. I believe its about being confident as a mummy and knowing that I know whats best for my child! Well, papa also always says he's glad mummy me is a counsellor who knows a pretty good deal about managing and communicating with children =)
Make way for Momfidence!
Check out the Momfidence website at www.momfidence.com
I actually pride myself for not really being part of the rat race or signing up those enrichment programmes that ensure your child has a good headstart... well, not that I disagree with such programmes (I'm also hoping to sign Yule up for some dance or ballet class soon), just that I feel that these programmes will rob away precious family time.. I rather spend the time bringing her to west coast or east coast park than to enrichment classes... at least for now... I dun just buy into whatever that sounds good for the child... or whatever other parents are doing... but that mini get together with the mummy friend had somehow made me feel and think to myself, am I doing enough as a mother???
During one of those regular Sunday visits to the library with Yule, I saw this book on Momfidence! Lose the Guilt, Love your Instincts!.. looked interesting...so I borrowed it.. and read it... and wow! Love it! It had such an amazing impact on me!! Really, motherhood is not about losing ourselves into the media, parenting books, 'perfect' advice from mummy friends, researches that say what and what is good... its really about our instincts and sometimes simply common sense! Its really one of those heartening read that made me laughed and felt good about myself.. and I'm so happy I actually finished the whole book (I actually cannot remember when was the last time I finished one whole book, and not giving up halfway!)
One of those impactful chapter is when the author mentioned how her eldest boy do not and literally do not eat other things except chicken nuggets.. and must be those frozen type and a particular brand (I can relate to this as Yule is also quite a picky eater). While she tried all ways and means to feed her son nutritious stuff and serving them in some fanciful ways (again, I can relate to this as this is also what I have been trying every now and then) to entice him to eat other things, it just doesn't work... Obviously, she'll have to make do with queries and stares from other mummies, that why is she always feeding her son 'unhealthy' chicken nuggets, will he grow up fine, is he getting enough nutrition, food pyramid??? etc etc... well well, her son is now in elementary school, and actually top the class for physical fitness! And thankfully more willing to eat different type of food... so what does it say??? If the child does not want to eat healthy nutritious lovely prepared food, just be thankful that he can eat and is still eating something!
Just some quotes from the book:
"Good mothering, ultimately, is in the eye of the beneficiary. Too often we play to a crowd that doesn't count: to the advice mongers in the media, to the imagined stares of perfect strangers, to the darting eyes of other insecure mommies. Worse of all, we play the perfect mother of all mothers who exist exclusively in our heads. The only audience that matters is the one we tuck in at night"
"Momfidence is raising your child freehand, rather than with a paint-by-numbers kit. To paraphrase Lucy van Pelt of Peanuts: The expert is Within."
"Momfidence is the confidence that comes from knowing everybody else is pretty much winging it, too."
Once again, whatever guilt feelings I gathered from the mini get together with mummy friend is gone. I believe its about being confident as a mummy and knowing that I know whats best for my child! Well, papa also always says he's glad mummy me is a counsellor who knows a pretty good deal about managing and communicating with children =)
Make way for Momfidence!
Check out the Momfidence website at www.momfidence.com
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Lizard
Somehow, I have been most scared of lizards. I can't even bear to hear about lizards, or even look at lizard pictures. So happen one day, I was terrified by a big and blackish looking lizard as I was opening my wardrobe door in the bedroom... and I couldn't even bear to scream (for fear that I will make the lizard jump at me!!!!). I ran out of the room looking really terrified at hubby. At one look, he knew what I must have seen. Yule came to me looking puzzled at my lost of words and kept asking me what happen. All I can say to her is "Mummy is very scared of lizard"...
Little brave Yule kept hugging me, and told me not to be scared, while papa was frantically trying to hit and 'capture' the creature (basically whatever he can do to get rid of the lizard because house rules say wifey and lizard cannot co-exist in the same household!). She was patting my back and my head, for as long as 15 mins, and assuring me in a very gentle tone, telling me its ok and not to be scared. On one hand, I felt rather strange that my little girl was comforting and 'protecting' me, on the other hand, I was enjoying that moment!
I guess it only affirms us that we have done a good job in making her feel secure and protected all these while, and that in time of need, she could take on that protector role too!
The whole episode ended with the unfortunate demise of the lizard... seriously, not that I care abt that blackish creature.. but I did care and pondled when yule asked me "Mummy, 为什么 那个lizard要死啊 ?"
I couldn't answer her... maybe the answer would be "Too bad loh!"
Little brave Yule kept hugging me, and told me not to be scared, while papa was frantically trying to hit and 'capture' the creature (basically whatever he can do to get rid of the lizard because house rules say wifey and lizard cannot co-exist in the same household!). She was patting my back and my head, for as long as 15 mins, and assuring me in a very gentle tone, telling me its ok and not to be scared. On one hand, I felt rather strange that my little girl was comforting and 'protecting' me, on the other hand, I was enjoying that moment!
I guess it only affirms us that we have done a good job in making her feel secure and protected all these while, and that in time of need, she could take on that protector role too!
The whole episode ended with the unfortunate demise of the lizard... seriously, not that I care abt that blackish creature.. but I did care and pondled when yule asked me "Mummy, 为什么 那个lizard要死啊 ?"
I couldn't answer her... maybe the answer would be "Too bad loh!"
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Potato Family
These days, Yule likes to draw people. But her drawing of a 'person' looks more like a potato, and that's what we always call it. So she completed this drawing and called it "Potato Family"!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Discipline
Discipline is such a big word. And these days I have to be employing disicipliing tactics a few times in a day. Lately I can't help but feel tired about disciplining Yule. Perhaps its also hormones changes, coupled with worries and uncertainties about a new baby, and having to deal with Yule's challenging behaviour. It upsets me pretty much when I see how her strong-willed character, her perseverance, her strive for independence, her wit, her strong command of the langauage (all really good positive traits) can contribute so much to her wilful, demanding, manipulative, impatient behaviour. These days, she often yells '走开', '我不要你'. These are really hurtful words. As much as I tell myself not to take it personally, its hard to do so. I do employ time-out, talking through the behaviour with her, getting her to apologize in disciplining her. The cane was also used in order to make sure she stays at her time-out corner. These strategies used to work very well. I'm was always happy with the outcome, that despite the naughty behaviour, we got our point across and she learnt and said sorry, and we will end off with hugs. However, these tactics were less effective now as he got used to the routines. It takes longer time, much more energy, much more tears and more strokes of cane to get her to acknowledge what she did wrongly and to apologize for her mistake. I guess she is really learning to test our limits and boundaries. Sometimes it appears to me that it is like a battle of power and control. I know at the back of my mind I cannot let her get away with any wilful behaviour, and I must let her know that her parents are in control, but it is just really a tiring process. And I hate to admit that sometimes I notice myself placating her so to prevent any 'eruptions'. I don't want that.
So today, I broke down. I am worried, really worried about the arrival of the second child. Though Yule appears excited about my growing tummy and the baby, I really wonder how it will be like when the sibling arrives. How do I cope with the demands of a newborn and a challenging toddler?
Perhaps my consolation for now is that many times we can still talk sense to Yule as she understands and expresses herself very well, and also not forgetting that she is just like her papa when he was young - the must-win, territoial, smart and manipulative traits. If her papa can turn out well and good, I believe so will Yule.
And perhaps just like what her papa said, maybe I worry too much.
So today, I broke down. I am worried, really worried about the arrival of the second child. Though Yule appears excited about my growing tummy and the baby, I really wonder how it will be like when the sibling arrives. How do I cope with the demands of a newborn and a challenging toddler?
Perhaps my consolation for now is that many times we can still talk sense to Yule as she understands and expresses herself very well, and also not forgetting that she is just like her papa when he was young - the must-win, territoial, smart and manipulative traits. If her papa can turn out well and good, I believe so will Yule.
And perhaps just like what her papa said, maybe I worry too much.
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