This blog will be closed

A new blog is created to mark my new parenting journey. Go to

Little Snippets of Life

Yule and Yuxi

Yule: (looking at Mummy's big tummy) 妈咪, 我在妈咪肚子里面的时候, 宇希在哪里?
Mummy: (Of course mummy doesn't quite know how to answer such a question???!!!)Hmmmm, 宇乐在妈咪肚子里面的时候, 宇希还在别的世界.
Yule: (staring at mummy blankly) 什么???
Mummy: ok, you go and ask papa

Yule: 爸爸, 爸爸, 我在妈咪肚子里面的时候, 宇希在哪里?
Papa: 宇希还在游泳!
Yule: (looking even more confused and decided to stop asking and walk away!)

---------------------------

Mummy: 宇乐, 妈咪生宇希的时候, 要去医院住两天的.
Yule: (looking sad and hugging mummy) 妈咪,我会勇敢的. 我会 Nam-myo-ho-renge-gyo的. (referring to the chant when making prayer)
Mummy: (can't help but to kiss Yule for being so sweet)
Yule: 妈咪, 我们现在就去 Nam-myo-ho-renge-gyo 啦 (referring that we should go and chant now)
Mummy: Nam-myo-ho-renge-gyo 也可以在心里面的. (pointing to where her heart is)
Yule: 什么???
Mummy: 心就是你的 heart (pointing to where her heart is agian)
Yule: 很像 Good Morning Jesus ah? (referring to the song she sings in her school!)
Mummy: (laughing and speechless...)

---------------------------

Yule: 妈咪, 你去医院, doctor 会不会跟你打针的?
Mummy: 会呀!
Yule: 为什么?
Mummy: 这样才可以生 baby 吗
Yule: 我不喜欢 doctor 了!

Happy Wedding to You!

Celebrating Papa and Mummy's 6th year wedding anniversary and 14 years of togetherness...

Happy 3rd Birthday Yule!

Momfidence!

I had a mini get together wth a mummy friend.. and after the gathering (or should I say during as well), I kinda felt I havent been dilligent enough to be sure of what I feed yule or what cream I use on yule, or perhaps also havent been dilligent enough to read up and research on the stuff that I provide for her.... hmmmmm.... its does tingle some guilt and lousy feelings...

I actually pride myself for not really being part of the rat race or signing up those enrichment programmes that ensure your child has a good headstart... well, not that I disagree with such programmes (I'm also hoping to sign Yule up for some dance or ballet class soon), just that I feel that these programmes will rob away precious family time.. I rather spend the time bringing her to west coast or east coast park than to enrichment classes... at least for now... I dun just buy into whatever that sounds good for the child... or whatever other parents are doing... but that mini get together with the mummy friend had somehow made me feel and think to myself, am I doing enough as a mother???

During one of those regular Sunday visits to the library with Yule, I saw this book on Momfidence! Lose the Guilt, Love your Instincts!.. looked interesting...so I borrowed it.. and read it... and wow! Love it! It had such an amazing impact on me!! Really, motherhood is not about losing ourselves into the media, parenting books, 'perfect' advice from mummy friends, researches that say what and what is good... its really about our instincts and sometimes simply common sense! Its really one of those heartening read that made me laughed and felt good about myself.. and I'm so happy I actually finished the whole book (I actually cannot remember when was the last time I finished one whole book, and not giving up halfway!)

One of those impactful chapter is when the author mentioned how her eldest boy do not and literally do not eat other things except chicken nuggets.. and must be those frozen type and a particular brand (I can relate to this as Yule is also quite a picky eater). While she tried all ways and means to feed her son nutritious stuff and serving them in some fanciful ways (again, I can relate to this as this is also what I have been trying every now and then) to entice him to eat other things, it just doesn't work... Obviously, she'll have to make do with queries and stares from other mummies, that why is she always feeding her son 'unhealthy' chicken nuggets, will he grow up fine, is he getting enough nutrition, food pyramid??? etc etc... well well, her son is now in elementary school, and actually top the class for physical fitness! And thankfully more willing to eat different type of food... so what does it say??? If the child does not want to eat healthy nutritious lovely prepared food, just be thankful that he can eat and is still eating something!

Just some quotes from the book:

"Good mothering, ultimately, is in the eye of the beneficiary. Too often we play to a crowd that doesn't count: to the advice mongers in the media, to the imagined stares of perfect strangers, to the darting eyes of other insecure mommies. Worse of all, we play the perfect mother of all mothers who exist exclusively in our heads. The only audience that matters is the one we tuck in at night"

"Momfidence is raising your child freehand, rather than with a paint-by-numbers kit. To paraphrase Lucy van Pelt of Peanuts: The expert is Within."

"Momfidence is the confidence that comes from knowing everybody else is pretty much winging it, too."

Once again, whatever guilt feelings I gathered from the mini get together with mummy friend is gone. I believe its about being confident as a mummy and knowing that I know whats best for my child! Well, papa also always says he's glad mummy me is a counsellor who knows a pretty good deal about managing and communicating with children =)

Make way for Momfidence!

Check out the Momfidence website at www.momfidence.com

New Zealand 3 Dec to 16 Dec 2009

Lizard

Somehow, I have been most scared of lizards. I can't even bear to hear about lizards, or even look at lizard pictures. So happen one day, I was terrified by a big and blackish looking lizard as I was opening my wardrobe door in the bedroom... and I couldn't even bear to scream (for fear that I will make the lizard jump at me!!!!). I ran out of the room looking really terrified at hubby. At one look, he knew what I must have seen. Yule came to me looking puzzled at my lost of words and kept asking me what happen. All I can say to her is "Mummy is very scared of lizard"...

Little brave Yule kept hugging me, and told me not to be scared, while papa was frantically trying to hit and 'capture' the creature (basically whatever he can do to get rid of the lizard because house rules say wifey and lizard cannot co-exist in the same household!). She was patting my back and my head, for as long as 15 mins, and assuring me in a very gentle tone, telling me its ok and not to be scared. On one hand, I felt rather strange that my little girl was comforting and 'protecting' me, on the other hand, I was enjoying that moment!

I guess it only affirms us that we have done a good job in making her feel secure and protected all these while, and that in time of need, she could take on that protector role too!

The whole episode ended with the unfortunate demise of the lizard... seriously, not that I care abt that blackish creature.. but I did care and pondled when yule asked me "Mummy, 为什么 那个lizard要死啊 ?"

I couldn't answer her... maybe the answer would be "Too bad loh!"

Potato Family

These days, Yule likes to draw people. But her drawing of a 'person' looks more like a potato, and that's what we always call it. So she completed this drawing and called it "Potato Family"!

Discipline

Discipline is such a big word. And these days I have to be employing disicipliing tactics a few times in a day. Lately I can't help but feel tired about disciplining Yule. Perhaps its also hormones changes, coupled with worries and uncertainties about a new baby, and having to deal with Yule's challenging behaviour. It upsets me pretty much when I see how her strong-willed character, her perseverance, her strive for independence, her wit, her strong command of the langauage (all really good positive traits) can contribute so much to her wilful, demanding, manipulative, impatient behaviour. These days, she often yells '走开', '我不要你'. These are really hurtful words. As much as I tell myself not to take it personally, its hard to do so. I do employ time-out, talking through the behaviour with her, getting her to apologize in disciplining her. The cane was also used in order to make sure she stays at her time-out corner. These strategies used to work very well. I'm was always happy with the outcome, that despite the naughty behaviour, we got our point across and she learnt and said sorry, and we will end off with hugs. However, these tactics were less effective now as he got used to the routines. It takes longer time, much more energy, much more tears and more strokes of cane to get her to acknowledge what she did wrongly and to apologize for her mistake. I guess she is really learning to test our limits and boundaries. Sometimes it appears to me that it is like a battle of power and control. I know at the back of my mind I cannot let her get away with any wilful behaviour, and I must let her know that her parents are in control, but it is just really a tiring process. And I hate to admit that sometimes I notice myself placating her so to prevent any 'eruptions'. I don't want that.

So today, I broke down. I am worried, really worried about the arrival of the second child. Though Yule appears excited about my growing tummy and the baby, I really wonder how it will be like when the sibling arrives. How do I cope with the demands of a newborn and a challenging toddler?

Perhaps my consolation for now is that many times we can still talk sense to Yule as she understands and expresses herself very well, and also not forgetting that she is just like her papa when he was young - the must-win, territoial, smart and manipulative traits. If her papa can turn out well and good, I believe so will Yule.

And perhaps just like what her papa said, maybe I worry too much.

Bye Bye Honda Fit

Papa wanted to get a new car, a bigger car to make way for the new baby, since two car seats in our Honda Fit possibly means no one else can be in the car.

When we broke the news to Yule that we are going to sell our red Honda Fit, she cried, and really really cried. She kept saying that she doesn't want the car to be sold off and that she will miss the car. Gosh, can't believe this is coming from a two-and-a-half year old. But she really cried every time we talk about selling the car. It took us days to pacify her. (Perhaps its the DVD player and her Tom and Jerry cartoon in our new Wish that did the job!)

We drove the car to the nearby park so that Yule could take pictures with our dear Honda Fit, which is just about 2 months older than her.

1, 2, 3, 4 = Family

Yes, we are going to have a new addition to our family. Yule seems to get the idea when I told her there's a litle baby in my tummy. She's all thrilled.

One Saturday where we were lazing in bed, Yule started counting, since she's rather into counting these days. She was counting 1, 2, 3, 4 and pointing to papa, mummy, mummy's tummy and herself at the same time. And she ended her counting and said 'Family'!

Such a sweet jie jie.

Lesson #3 Learn to let go

These days, Yule seems to want to do everything on her own. Like bathing, drying herself using towel, applying moisturiser on herself, wearing her clothes, taking off her clothes, wearing her shoes, wearing socks, opening the fridge to search for food, feeding herself, washing her own dishes, wahsing her own shoes, taking the basket at NTUC, paying at the cashier when we buy things, opening and closing the door by herself, pressing the lift button... the list goes on and on...

Without doubt, Yule is at the stage of Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt, according to Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development. It says "Children need to develop a sense of personal control over physical skills and a sense of independence. Success leads to feelings of autonomy, failure results in feelings of shame and doubt".

We are defintely happy that Yule is growing and learning appropriate to her age. Certianly, it also seems that its geat that she is learning to do many things on her own now. But in fact, I believe those who have also gone through this stage of parenthood would agree with me that it does not necessary mean an easier time if our child is learning to do things on their own. It could actually mean more work, as we are battling with an assertive toddler, who wants to do things on her own, but not exactly the way we would want it, or as 'proper' as if we were to do it for her, or as fast as we would prefer it. On days where we just need to get things done fast to prepare to go out or to rush to do something, having to 'entertain' her and allow her to do things by herself can actually be quite annoying!

I realise I have to learn to move on together with her. By moving on, it would mean learning to let go, telling myself its ok that things may not always need to be 'properly' done. Perhaps that would mean less battling and certainly less frustration on my side!

Well well, nevertheless, it may still be easier said than done!

Our pretty Yule

Temperaments and Personality

We always make predictions of how Yule will be like when she is older based on observations of her personality traits now. For example, since Yule is always on-the-go, often impatient and has short attention span, Ah Ma and Por Por believe that Yule can't really sit still long enough to learn next time when she is in school. I am always wondering how much of the behaviours she is exhibiting are typical of toddlers' behaviours and how much it will provide clues to how she will be like when she grows up.

I read that there are nine traits to a toddler's temperament.
1. activity level
2. rhythmicity
3. approach - withdrawal
4. adaptability
5. persistence - attention span
6. intensity of reaction
7. distractibility
8. threshold of responsiveness
9. quality of mood.

Here's what I think of my little Yule's temperament and personality:
1. Activity Level describes the amount of physical movement during sleep and awake periods. Yule is efinitely full of energy. In fact, she appears like she'll never run out of energy. Sometimes she will do without her afternoon nap, and hardly appear cranky if there are things to do and games to play. Love the outdoors.

2. Rhythmicity refers to the regularity of functions like sleep or hunger. Yule is not quite predictable in this. She seems to be able to go without food and sleep if she is happily engaged. The only thing that is habitual is the morning milk she will always be crying for.

3. Approach - withdrawal refers to the initial response to a new situation or stimulus. Yule seeks new playmates, new exciting places. However, she is also cautious and wants someone to be with her, but quickly warms up to the new place/plymates if she knows that fun is awaiting her.

4. Adaptability refers to the ease or difficulty with which reactions can be modified. I would say she is pretty adaptable. I guess that's why people like her and find her adorable, as she eases into the company of people very easily. I hear comments made by friends, relatives, passerbys that seldom do they see a toddler who opens up to people so readily.

5. Persistence - attention span is a description of how long a child with stay at any given activity. Defintely a low for Yule. She can hardly sit still for 1 minute, even when the TV is on, unless is her favourite DVD programme. But wherever there is a familiar tune on TV, she will jump from the sofa and start to dance and jump. Lately, she is very much into Play-Doh, which at least can keep her occupied for a while.

6. Intensity of reaction refers to the energy level of the response that is typical for the child. I would think its pretty high. She can be so super sensitive and sweet, yet so super wilful and stubborn, and can be dramatic at times. Sometimes, we even call her the 'Drama Queen'!

7. Distractibility refers to how much or how little extraneous stimuli is needed to interfere with an ongoing activity. Yule is highly distractable, mostly to people and things happening around her.

8. Threshold of responsiveness refers to how intense a stimulus needs to be to evoke a response from a child. Yule doesn't require an intense stimulus to evoke a response, which is why she is highly and easily excitable from anything. Her dramatic movements include the endearing and excited behaviours when she sees us return home. She jump and run, pull and tug and exclaim how much she misses us!

9. Quality of mood refers to the general tone of the child’s responses and behaviors. Yule is always happy, loves attention, and loves praises and loves new challenges and, above all, loves to win!


All in all... this is how I would describe Yule's temperaments and personality now:
- Highly energetic, loves to be part of any action
- Loves to be the centre of attention, so loves to show off!
- Highly competitive, always want to win
- As a result, very kiasu!
- Very cautious when it comes to new experiences, don;t really dare to try unless being accompanied
- Can be stubborn sometimes
- But can also be super sweet and follow our instructions
- Loves the outdoor
- Loves to be with the gor gors and jie jies at the playground and can be so super friendly that she encounters rejection!
- Can't be independent... always stick to any one of us like super glue... follow whereever we go, even in the house.
- But when it comes to little tasks, she wants to do them on her own and demand praises after that!

I guess few years down, it may be interesting to look back to this list to note how much are these the same or different.

Word Recognition

Yule is lately intersted in reading alphabets and feels greatly excited when she sees words around. She recognises all the 26 alphabets now, though occasionally forgot one or two, but is not able to read words yet. Just today, we were walking at Jurong Point, passing by Starbucks. Out of fun, papa encouraged Yule to read the letters. She slowly goes 'S', 'T', 'A', 'R', and she said 'Star' to our great surprise! So exciting! Yule is beginning to read!

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Inspired by Connie Talbot of Britain's Got Talent (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWNoiVrJDsE), I'm also teaching Yule this beautiful song!
Just the first sentence though =)

Lesson #2 Use words of affirmation as often as you can

Words of Affirmation - Its one of the five languages of love, written by author Gary Chapman. "In communicating love, words are powerful. Words of afectionand endearment, words of praise and encouragement, words that give positive guidance all say,"I care about you." Such words are like a gentle, warm rain falling on the soul; they nurture the child's inner sense of worth and security. Even though such words are quickly said, they are not soon forgotten. A child reaps the benefits of affirming words for a lifetime"

One day, Yule was eating macoroni soup prepared by me. The usual stuff. And she suddenly came running to me while I was still in the kitchen washing dishes, and said "Mummy, 你煮的很好吃leh!" Then she hugged me and ran off to continue her meal. Of course it made me feel so good! The power of affirming words...

Looks like Yule is not the only one reaping the benefits from affirming words, her mummy is also enjoying how words of affirmation from her daughter is making her feel so loved!

Lesson #1 Do not make excuses for ourselves

There are little lessons learnt in our day to day interaction with little yule Indeed that's how people have been saying that as parents, we learn from our little ones too...

A little conversation yule had with her papa made me reflect on how we always thought we can't do something, but in fact we are just making excuses for ourselves...

Yule: (taking a hairband and was trying to tie her own hair, but realised she cannot tie her own hair yet)
Yule: 爸爸, 帮我绑头发.
Papa: 爸爸不会绑啦.
Yule: 你是大人 leh
Papa: ... (speechless since he is being 'suan' and therefore has to tie yule's hair for her!)

Letter recognition

At 2 years 2 months old, Yule has started to recognise letters.. YEAH!! Whenever she sees a familiar letter, she will run to the fridge to pick up a magnetic letter to show that she knows the letter. Highly recommended: Leapfrog Letter Factory. Yule loves it! It amazes me how she can sit through the DVD, with great interest, for 30 mins!

Sentosa Luge and Skyride

We went as a big family to Sentosa over the weekend. We went for the Luge and Skyride, Dolphin Lagoon, Underwater World and played at the beach. Yule enjoyed herself so much that she even proclaimed '宇乐很高兴!'

I was so scared of the Skyride that broke into tears. Surprisingly, Yule was so brave and stayed calm and still while sitting on the Skyride. When asked if she was scared, she would say '宇乐不怕'. She would even tell me 'Mummy, its OK, 不会怕的.' I can't believe I am holding on so tightly to my little daughter because I was so scared of heights, and she has to assure me that its ok! Whatever it is, I told papa I'll never sit on it again. As if being worried that she would fall off is not bad enough, I still have to sit through the ride being so fearful of heights!

Here's the sentosa link for a peek at the Luge and Skyride.
http://www.sentosa.com.sg/explore_sentosa/attractions/gallery_luge/gallery.html